A certain balloon dog is moving to the Upper East Side (image via Curbed)

It seems as though all those hanging hearts, flower puppies and porn paintings are finally paying off for Jeff Koons, as the superstar artist has begun to plan the renovation of two enormous Upper East Side townhouses into one giant SUPERMANSION!

The artist purchased 11 East 67th Street in 2009 for a cool $12 million while its neighboring 13 East 67th Street came in at $20 million. Now, architecture firm Ennead Architects is requesting permits for a $5 million renovation that will make the two buildings one, Curbed reports.

The grand total of 21,500 square feet is only 200 square feet short of Manhattan’s biggest single family residence, and that’s owned by the Emir of Qatar, who also owns … an entire country.

Just think, the price tag of $37 million could easily be tossed together by the 2007 Christie’s auction price tag of Koons’ “Balloon Flower (Magenta)” (1995-99) plus the estimated going price of a blue “Balloon Flower” set to hit the Christie’s auction block on November 10 for $12-16 million. Two pieces! That’s not so bad for a dream home, right? Not to mention a composite mansion that includes four maids’ rooms, plus a basement exercise room, and pool. We just hope that the balloon dogs can float.

Though it’s not clear that the building project will pass through all the city hoops it needs to, we hope that Koons doesn’t decide to just stick with the vaguely neoclassical facade that comes standard with the buildings. The Upper East Side could certainly use some giant Pooh Bears or inflatable lobsters. Maybe even a subway train hanging upside down? And no word as to why the artist chose the Upper East Side to lay his head considering there are far more interesting and cooler neighborhoods for the very wealthy in New York. Might we suggest Soho, Chelsea, or hell, even Dumbo! Will Koons find his way to real estate heaven or will this UES mess become another Schnabel-style Palazzo Chupi?

Kyle Chayka was senior editor at Hyperallergic. He is a cultural critic based in Brooklyn and has contributed to publications including ARTINFO, ARTnews, Modern Painters, LA Weekly, Kill Screen, Creators...