“Wow. George Bush is a painter,” former president George W. Bush told NBC Today regarding the reception he imagines his paintings of world leaders will receive upon their public release tomorrow. “Wow. I look forward to seeing a stick figure he painted of me,” he added, in a pantomime of self-awareness, extending the hypothetical to his possible subjects. They are, of course, less important than the bad man himself: “I found it very interesting the first painting that came out was the one I painted of myself in the bathtub.” Wow, indeed.
Why did the bad man paint himself taking a bath? He wanted to learn “about painting water hitting water.” Why was the bad man naked in the bath? “[B]ecause I wanted to kind of shock my instructor.”
The nightmare continues tomorrow in Texas, where portraits of Vladimir Putin, Tony Blair, and others will be unveiled in an exhibition alongside the better-known oeuvre of cats and dogs. Laura Bush was spared the canvas. “Don’t paint your wife,” the 43rd president of the United States advised.