For the third and final installment in his series of YouTube Essays, called YouTube Archive + Anarchy, blogger and curator Brent Burket pretty much goes for broke. If this doesn’t get you pumped about YouTube, or at least disturbed enough to stop using it for a few days, there’s no hope for you. From black metal to necrophilia, surrealism and Alice Cooper, these are the YouTube videos you only find at 2 in the morning after a night of heavy drinking. Also, Jeffrey Deitch gets punched and bitches out his attackers like Woody Allen in a pink suit.

YouTube. What I want, you got. Last night proved that over and over again. Mayhem. Then, the end.

Mayhem – Dead and Euronymous frolicking and grinding it out in 1990

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Thrust in Me

from the loins and minds of Richard Kern & Nick Zedd. (NSFW!!! NSFW!!! NSFW!!! Possibly not even safe for home, to tell you the truth. Warning: Suicide. Boredom. Necrophilia. Whatever.)

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Richard Kern/Sonic Youth – Death Valley ’69

Not lost to time or MTV. History and relevance at the click of a mouse.

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Salvador Dali’s hologram of Alice Cooper

Gloriously and oddly set to Hot Butter’s synth classic, Popcorn. Being a huge Alice fan, I’ve read about this forever, but I never thought I’d see it. But here it is. Revolve.

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Alice Cooper – I’m Eighteen

Because, quite frankly, it does not get any better than this. “I got a baby’s brain, and an old man’s heart./Took me 18 years to get this far.” YouTube deserves to exist just for this clip alone. And check the most caustic reading of Don McClean’s American Pie near the end. Vicious.

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Black Metal Logos: The classic, the illegible and the awesome

It is what the title says it is. Classic, illegible, and awesome. Good luck not watching this puppy twice.

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WOLD – The Field Hag

This is really a musical intro to an underground art and Black Metal story I told at the viewing last night. It will stay there. Respect.

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Masonic hand signs

This was the end to that story. A YouTube miracle of sorts.

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Hermann Nitsch – Aktion @ Incubate Festival – Part 3

Quite simply, Freemasonry make me think of bloody things.

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Marina Abramovic fan slideshow: ‘Art must be beautiful’, ‘Artist must be beautiful’

Stop the video at 2:18 when there’s a still from “Lips of Thomas” (Carved, bloody belly pentagram). Then switch to the crazy Slayer fan video. Makes Marina seem a little tame.

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SLAYER!!!!!!!!

‘Nuf said.

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Concrete TV

From the exploding bowels of Brooklyn Access TV comes the sex and violence edit-fest that is Concrete TV, preserved on YouTube for our wonderment. (NSFW. Unless you work for Rocco Siffredi or James Cameron.) USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

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“I can’t f*ckin’ believe it.”–Jeffrey Deitch, 2010

Neither can I, Jeffrey. Neither can I.

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Shorewood Lip Dub

Every good night should end with Hall & Oates. Especially backwards.

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Brent Burket is a writer and curator living in Brooklyn. His blog is called Heart As Arena, and he tweets here. He has a really bad sense of direction.