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An image of the stolen Thomas Kinkade sculpture “Prince of Peace” (2007), which the late artist created in an edition of 30. (image via WXIN)

’Twas a few weeks before Christmas, and all through Zionsville, Indiana’s Thomas Kinkade Gallery,
Many creatures were stirring, shoppers out for Small Business Saturday;
The Painter of Light’s masterpieces were hung about the gallery with care,
In hopes that collectors soon would be there;
The gallery’s staff were nestled among crowds bundled in threads;
While visions of commissions danced in their heads;
And the gallery’s security apparatus of cameras and guard in a cap,
Had just turned the other way with a slouch and a zap,
When from among the customers there arose the lightest patter,
That nobody thought to see what was the matter.
Away from the gallery it was taken in a flash,
A rare Kinkade bronze bust of Jesus, FOX59 reported, worth $7,500 cash.
The gallery lights’ beam on the beloved show,
Gave an employee a start three days later when she noticed the missing object below.
Only then did the police detectives’ wandering eyes appear,
But clues about the missing “Prince of Peace” sculpture were not near,
With an art thief of dubious tastes who had acted so quick,
It was impossible to say how the sculpture’d been nicked.
More rapid than an eagle the thief had struck,
But police are monitoring local pawn shops and will catch him with any luck.
“What sort of person would steal Christ?” asked gallery owner Barbara Jennings,
Though she hopes this sad holiday story will have a happy ending.

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Benjamin Sutton

Benjamin Sutton is an art critic, journalist, and curator who lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn. His articles on public art, artist documentaries, the tedium of art fairs, James Franco's obsession with Cindy...

3 replies on “Thomas Kinkade and the Jesus of Zionsville, a Christmas Tale”

  1. The question is not “What sort of person would steal Christ?” but “What sort of person would steal Thomas Kinkade’s image of Christ?”

  2. Perhaps it was a philanthropic gesture intended to rid the world of a piece of nauseating kitsch? Hallelujah to the thief!

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