Xavier Veilhan, “Le Lion” (2005) (photo by Benjamin Sutton/Hyperallergic)
Leo (July 23–August 22)
If opportunities were teddy bears, Leo, your astrological forecast for the month would look a lot like Charlemagne Palestine’s exhibition at the Jewish Museum. His maximalist installation “Bear Mitzvah in Meshugahland” (2017) is a colorful and playful space in which seemingly every surface holds delightful details and plush delights. We hope you’re in a cuddly mood!
Virgo (August 23–September 23)
How will you diffuse the drama over the Dana Schutz show at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston, Virgo? What about the Berkshire Museum debacle — what can you do to set the situation straight? And how will you right the wrongs LG has done posthumously to Lygia Pape? The present astral alignment means your crisis resolution skills are at their sharpest, so put them to good use!
Libra (September 24–October 23)
Libra, your chart adds up to a rare and fortunate alignment of factors we in the art horoscopes business like to call “The Ennial Forecast.” Due to a mix of travel-based business opportunities, the possibility of taking a long-distance relationship to the next level, and the importance for your career of being visible on the social scene, it’s time for you to hit the international -ennial circuit: Venice, Documenta, Momentum, and more await!
Scorpio (October 24–November 22)
Have you ever watched Guido van der Werve’s video “Nummer dertien, effugio C: you’re always only half a day away” (2011), Scorpio? It’s a 12-hour video of van der Werve jogging around his house for 12 straight hours. You don’t need to do anything so extreme, but you should be mindful of your body this month and try to get lots of outdoor exercise. Doing so is not only good for your health, it will distract you from all the frustrating things going on in your professional and romantic spheres.
Sagittarius (November 23–December 21)
We as a society need to be more mindful of who we memorialize and pay tribute to; the United States, for instance, is littered with tributes to hateful men. This month, Sagittarius, think of someone who has been an important influence in your life and make yourself their most vocal champion. Just remember that Snooty is already spoken for.
Capricorn (December 22–January 20)
During a recent Hyperallergic team-building game of art historical charades, one of us had to perform Yves Klein’s “Leap into the Void” (1960), a potentially dangerous task that was carried off with aplomb, correctly identified by the team, and resulted in no damage to people or property. You too, Capricorn, must be prepared to take the plunge this month, as both your spheres of romance and finance will require major gestures of faith on your part.
Aquarius (January 21–February 19)
Even the most famous and successful artists have had to take day jobs at times to make ends meet. Everyone’s heard about Jeff Koons working in the Museum of Modern Art’s office for membership services, but Chuck Close once worked for Richard Serra’s moving company and Carolee Schneeman was a walk-on actress in adult movies. You’ve long had to divide your energies between bread-winning and spending time in the studio, Aquarius, but this may be the month all that changes and you become a full-time artist.
Pisces (February 20–March 20)
People seemed surprised that Banksy’s “Balloon Girl” was voted Britain’s most beloved artwork — beating out works by Henry Moore, John Constable, and JMW Turner — but the only real surprise is that the middlebrow street artist garnered more votes than tacky poster tycoon Jack Vettriano. Such sweet, empty fare has major mass appeal. Incidentally, Pisces, you really need to cut down on your consumption of sugary treats this month.
Aries (March 21–April 20)
It’s finally here, Aries: your Carmen Herrera moment. Maybe you haven’t been toiling in relative obscurity for decades, but certainly years, and this month will mark the turning point when your work starts to catch on and attract attention. All we ask is that, when the Whitney Museum comes calling to organize a belated survey, you remember who let you know that your time had finally arrived and invite us to the opening.
Taurus (April 21–May 21)
Christo and Jeanne-Claude. Gilbert and George. Nancy Rubins and Chris Burden. Even Yoko Ono and John Lennon. Contemporary art features plenty of artist couples whose works are somehow formally resonant if not outright collaborative. The stars have something different in store for you, Taurus. This month you will meet someone whose sensibilities are the polar opposite of yours, become locked in heated intellectual debate, and immediately thereafter fall head-over-heels in love.
Gemini (May 22–June 21)
It’s never too early to start thinking about your legacy, Gemini. What do you want future generations to remember about you? That you made great art? That you were a brilliant thinker? That you shared the spoils of your success by being generous toward the needy? Or that you were as obsessive as Salvador Dalí about grooming and preserving your image even in death? Whatever it is, this month is an ideal time to start planning for it; and, in the latter case, we recommend you start stocking up on wax.
Cancer (June 22–July 22)
Thank goodness Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner have such boring taste in art! Imagine if they collected, say, Hank Willis Thomas or Duke Riley or Shirin Neshat or Sherrie Levine or Mickalene Thomas? Those artists’ works would immediately become so fraught because of their association with the Trumps. Instead, we have another great excuse to swear off Alex Israel, Dan Colen, and Richard Prince. This month, Cancer, you’ll find a silver lining in even the worse situations.
