Tewz’s losing piece (via bravo.tv)

This week’s Work of Art begins with a staple of Bravo reality competition shows: children and foreboding music. Ah yes, this is the week our artistes must show that they can handle the youngins. But then, another surprise! OMG IT’S CARRIE BRADSHAW. She gives them their challenge: the artists have to make a piece complimenting work of the children brought in. And so the exploitation of children begins.

Sucklord’s kid’s parents had a wedding cake with Princess Leia and Han Solo on top. Of course. Kymia is screwed by a carrot on the beach. Sounds like it could be it’s own reality show. Some of the kids’ pieces are pretty freaking awesome. We’re going to go for the cheap shot and say that the kids might be more qualified to be in an art competition than some of the artists. Sucklord gets choked up about children. They “make him soft.” We (shamefully) fall more in love with him each week.

Lola isn’t “inspired” by her kid’s painting. Young Sun Han starts taking pictures of himself in his underwear as a “bird man.” He kind of looks like a go-go dancer. Sarah J. tells her heartbreaking tale of her parent’s divorce. We hear ya, sister. Feel the pain of that broken home.

OMG! SARAH JESSICA PARKER!!!! (via bravo.tv)

Simon is a little worried about most people. As usual. But he’s going to auction off the winning piece from the challenge. This is kind of a sad moment for Phillips de Pury.

Dramatic music to show dramatic making of dramatic art! Tewz goes around insulting everyone’s work and just being an asshole. This episode also seems like an excuse to show cute family photos of our artistes (big “awwwwws” for Bayeté and his little siblings and Lola with Al Pacino).

Sarah K.’s piece is a lovely and literal translation of her kid’s silhouette piece. Sarah J.’s piece makes one wonder if she can spell. I like Kymia’s drawing, as well as Michelle’s intricate paper sculpture.

Dusty is in the top! His cutesy open-and-shut “visual biography” (as said by the ever-illuminating Bill Powers) was easy enough to understand. Kymia’s drawing wins! Her piece was quite nice.

Tears from Sara! Poor thing. I wasn’t a huge fan of her piece, but I do think the judges were incorrect in their evaluation of why it was unsuccessful. It actually looked a lot like her kid’s piece.

Sucklord is up for elimination. His giant sculpture of a kiddie fantasyland did look a little like a giant turd, but I liked his fantasy world. But perhaps my emotions, much like Sara’s, are getting in the way of a proper evaluation.

Sucklord sticks up for Tewz! I don’t know if his piece was “kick-ass” but I didn’t think it deserved to be on the bottom. It was an attractive minimalist sculpture that, yes, was a bit “PSA-y,” but I would be happy to display it in my garden (if I had a garden), which is more than could be said for most of the pieces on this show.

Jerry gets kind of bitchy with the Sucklord. It is difficult to look imposing in a toggle sweater. But he does a pretty decent job.

And of course, Tewz goes home! Because between the most entertaining character on the show, a pretty girl with a sad story and a douchey street artist, the douche is the one who must go. See you next week, when the artists invade The New York Times! Is nothing sacred? Could we say that every week?

Note: The Village Voice asked Jazz-Minh this week if she felt bad about people making fun of how her name is spelled. We feel guilty.

Work of Art: Season Two appears on the Bravo TV network every Wednesday at 9/8c.

Jocelyn Silver is a 2011 Hyperallergic summer intern originally from San Diego, California.