Simon de Pury in casuals an China Chow in something (via bravotv.com)
OMG guys, the artistes have arrived in Brooklyn. China Chow announces the challenge. They artists have to do street art! In DUMBO! So hood. It’s a team challenge, too. Apparently art is the new Quidditch.
The artist then get to spray paint China Chow’s dress, which looks like a hoopskirt from the future. Sucklord and Simon both sexually harass her. The winners get $30,000 smackaroos! I thought print journalism is dying! Where the hell is Blue Canvas Magazine getting all this money? Do they have a deal with the demon that lives inside Andy Cohen or something?
Dusty is paired with Young Sun Han, who he was jealous of winning last week. He comments that he and Young have had different life experiences. No shit, Sherlock.
Lola says she likes to throw glitter in the subway. Sounds like my Friday night. She also says she is not jealous if Sucklord flirts with Sarah K. To which we say, what happened to your girlfriend, Suck?
Michelle and Lola decide to do sexually active alcoholic tigers. Sounds like my Saturday night.
Some of the “street art,” including (left) a work by Kymia and Sara and (right) The Sucklord and Sarah (via bravotv.com)
Workity workity work. Lola and Michelle have charming fun. Kymia and Sara J. get serious and emotional, as they are wont to do. Sucklord and Sarah K. flirt more? Manufactured sexual tension? Young Sun Han and Dusty are not exactly working great together.
Did Bravo purposefully cut together a montage of Lola and Michelle talking about dicks? It doesn’t appeal to their target audience, but you know. They could be throwing Jerry Saltz a bone.
Young and Dusty realize they have things in common! The fact that Dusty has a wife and child and Young has a boyfriend does not mean they are completely alien to one another! They actually draw the rather touching conclusion that as Young was losing a father, Dusty was becoming one.
Kymia starts crying when Lola and Michelle take over the scanners. Lola is kind of bitchy about it. Hello, middle school!
There is so much competition between Team Tiger Penis and Team Eyeliner! Sucklord discusses Sarah K. in an inappropriate manner! Such manufactured drama. Nice one, Bravo producers.
Simon arrives. He responds well to Team Touching Emotional Connection and Team Eyeliner. He doesn’t like Team Tiger Penis so much, nor Team Sexual Tension (both are apparently “difficult to read”).
Young wore short shorts to make his street art. As Sarah K. said, he really does have great legs.
China Chow turned into a muppet for the street show. The street? Whatever you call looking at street art.
Team Touching Emotional Connection’s piece is predictably touching and emotional. Team Tiger Penis’s piece is trying way too hard to be provocative and make hot girls say “penis.” But that said, it’s super fun, and their sticker idea is adorable. It does feel contemporary and raucous, and like something one might actually see on the street in DUMBO.
Team Eyeliner’s piece is of course sad and deeply tortured. The line drawing is pretty, and Sara J. and Kymia’s styles meld well together. Sucklord and Sarah K.’s maze is kind of boring, especially considering this could have been the time for Sucklord to bust out some crazy Star Wars shit. The judges have broken him! But I like the Banksy-ish rat and cheese.
At the judging Team Eyeliner gets sad about Team Tiger Penis encouraging viewers to tag their piece. Lola responds in typical mean girl fashion, with “I didn’t mean to hurt their feelings.” All is resolved in the back, and when Lola says, “I just tried to be naughty,” Bravo cuts in a Sucklord wink! Sexy.
Young Sun Han and Dusty win! Young is on quite the streak there. Both Young Sun Han and Dusty have excelled at making graphic work that is interactive and can speak to a lot of people with a clear, easily understood message. It’s smart for a competition like this, and both have done predictably well. Team Eyeliner/Team Sadface is also on top.
Team Tiger Penis is on the bottom, with Jerry describing it as “silly, half-canned surrealism.” But isn’t that what makes it fun? Team Sexual Tension is also on the losing side, with Bill Powers saying it “looks like a commission for someone who drinks a lot of white wine.”
The Sucklord is eliminated! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. HOW WILL I WATCH ANYMORE? Kymia predictably cries. Sucklord said, “Don’t cry for me Argentina,” but don’t worry Kymia. I cried too.
Stay tuned for next week, for more of Lola and Kymia bitchiness and some product placement.
Work of Art: Season Two appears on the Bravo TV network every Wednesday at 9/8c.
Sucklord had been in the bottom of the crits 3 times already. So the writing was on the wall — literally.