Work of Art Recap: Finalmente!

The time has come. Last night was the last episode of Work of Art this season. One of our artistes dreams was made, and two others were crushed, much like bones after a terrible murder. I often follow up my Work of Art viewings with SVU. It puts the devastating losses in perspective.

Our final three are Young, Kymia and Sara. They were sent home for three months and given $7,500 to prepare for their final show. Young immediately starts out by saying “I’m clearly the favorite going into this finale.” Oh, Young. Do you not know what happens when one is filled with hubris? Have you never read The Iliad?

In the clips of Sara, we see her asking Young to massage her vagina. This show makes me more uncomfortable than David Hassellhoff’s home videos. They re-show Sara’s emotional breakdown, which is always a good thing.

Sad Kymia and her perfect eyeliner make it into the finale. In the clips reviewing her performance there weren’t as many tears as I expected. I hope the tears come soon.

Simon, in the great tradition of Project Runway, goes to Chicago to visit Young. His apartment is super nice, which makes sense when it is revealed that his boyfriend is a stock broker. Get it, Young.

His mom, who is battling cancer, was also in the apartment. She was very sweet. Young broke out his third grade drawings. I would imagine that they would hold up on the show. They go to his giant, amazing studio, for Young to show Simon his work. Simon tells Young his work is kind of dry and boring. Uh-oh. But he then finds his work dedicated to his father, who passed away, very strong.

Kymia’s turn! She and her boyfriend live with his parents, which kind of blows. Kymia tells Simon that her dad died in a jet-skiing accident, and she was there, which is insanely upsetting. Poor Kymia. Her sadness now makes sense. She shows Simon her drawings, which are beautiful. She has some horrible sculptures, which he tells her she cannot show. So she cries. A lot.

Sara’s turn! Her boyfriend is really cute. They go to her massive studio. She shows Simon a performance piece she did, where she asked people to write down confessions and put them in a pouch she was carrying. She then drew portraits of the people watching the performance piece and made a sculpture based on it. Simon was not happy with her.

They go to the Thompson Hotel. Nice, Bravo. Young says he didn’t have time to get his eyebrows threaded. From then on, his eyebrows were the only things I could pay attention to.

They go up to the Meatpacking District to the Phillps de Pury auction house, where they will show their final pieces. China, wearing a hat that resembles an upside-down tea saucer, gives the artists some hugs. Awwww. One of the winner’s pieces will be auctioned off in a Phillips de Prury auction! The artistes are excited.

I have yet to comment on the shots of the city Work of Art shows in black and white with little splashes of color. They look like an over-enthusiastic middle-school girl figured out how to use Piknik.

Setting up! Stress, stress, stress. Kymia’s got these pedestals, for a gravesite? Or something? And they are too short. And so she cries.

Bravo shows a montage of Simon being awesome. The dude is a DJ? Who wants chickens to invade the world? He rules.

Art show! China looks like a milkmaid from Imperialist Russia. It’s working for me. The other artists come back! The Sucklord is there! He made Jerry a glow in the dark action figure of himself. I want one.

Sara’s exhibition is filled with sculpture and installation based on the confessions she took in her performance piece. Some of it, like the bed filled with needles, is kind of obvious and extraneous. But her paper crane sculpture is strikingly beautiful, and I like the imprint she did of her entire body’s dead skin cells.

Young’s show, based on the death of his father, is extremely personal. China cries. The photos projected on the wall is a good idea, as the show is about how life is temporary. It is very moving, but I’m not sure how I like the arrangement of his father’s shirts, as Sara says.

Kymia’s exhibit is very, very beautiful. The drawings have gorgeous texture and color, and are impeccably detailed from what I can tell through the TV screen. Her “graves” aren’t really necessary, but the drawings are incredible.

Last crit! China cries more when it comes to Young. Aw, China! Kymia gets a good crit, except when it comes to her sculptures. Guest judge Kaws likes her piece dedicated to her father the most. She cries. Sara gets a good crit for her ambition and experimentation with a bunch of different materials.

Kymia wins! It’s not really a shocker. Her exhibit was very, very beautiful. She cried when she won. This was also not a shocker.

In all seriousness, the artists this season, especially the ones who got eliminated later (Michelle! Lola!) did a really good job. I wish them well in all of their respective careers.

But I shalt not miss the show. Goodbye, Jerry Saltz and your constant references to your man-spanx!

Work of Art: Season Two appeared on the Bravo TV network every Wednesday at 9/8c this past fall.