My Armenian Christmas present came one day early this year when someone emailed me this juicy and bizarre art crime story … the Denver Post reports:

A 36-year-old Denver woman, apparently drunk, leaned against an iconic Clyfford Still painting worth more than $30 million last week, punched it, slid down it and urinated on herself, according to a criminal case against Carmen Lucette Tisch.

I’m not going to lie, this story is awesome on so many levels. And, NO, I don’t ever want ANYONE to damage an art work in a museum but come on, we all show love in different ways, no?

Carmen Tisch chose “1957-J-No. 2.” (1957), which is roughly 9 1/2 feet tall and 13 feet wide, as the object of her affection … or whatever she wants to call it.

The Post lets us know that the painting is estimated between $30 million and $40 million by the museum and the damage will cost $10,000.

Tisch has a small criminal record, one DUI charge in 2008, but nothing you wouldn’t expect from a modern art lap dancer … or is she a “performance artist.” Needless to say, we probably don’t have to remind Hyperallergic readers that this isn’t the first time someone has urinated in a museum ... *cough* Ann Liv Young.

Ok, with a lede like the one I typed above, I know someone out there has some hate for me. So let me have it in the comments. I can take it, but remember, it’s CHRISTMAS!

Original photo of lapdancer via and Clyfford Still and photo of Carmen Tisch via.

Hrag Vartanian is editor-in-chief and co-founder of Hyperallergic.

2 replies on “Clyfford Still Painting Gets Lap Dance in Denver”

  1. If only they had bothered to put Shafrazi in jail for doing far worse.  I guarantee she will get far worse out of this than he did.

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