For something that is virtually never discussed, menstrual sex is a multi-dimensional experience that offers many benefits to the intrepid ladies and gentlemen willing to brave the red tide! First of all, it’s an invitation to raw-dog with the monogamous or trusted partner of your choosing, for ladies that enjoy sexual congress with men, but decline to take chemical birth control. For another, it is a helpful gauge of a cis male’s long-term potential, maturity, and seaworthiness — because on a long enough timeline, every man has to once or twice dig deep and face the reality of menstruation. (You know, that horrifying reality that women deal with every single month for a huge portion of their lives, without all that much recognition or fanfare!) And of course, there is the most tangible benefit: sometimes you’re on your period and you really need to get some. You know what I mean, ladies. Don’t be shy. I have them too.
But in truth, it’s not the squeamishness of immature sex partners that inhibits the vibe during our Special Moon Time — it’s the risk of destroying our bedding. It’s hard to really get your swerve on, when you’re worried about leaving your bedroom looking like a CSI scene. It makes sleeping in the wet spot seem tame.
Great news! Everyone’s favorite (and virtually only) period-wear specialists, THINX, have just announced the expansion of their period-relevant product line — formally comprised of absorbent underwear to be worn in lieu of disposable feminine hygiene products, and pro-period merch — to address the hot topic of getting off without getting it on your bedding.
As reported by Dezeen, the company is launching a four-layer absorbent “Period Sex Blanket,” designed to discreetly and hygienically catch the fallout while you get yours. Thinx launched the product last weekend at a pop-up event in New York, inside a custom pavilion designed by architecture studio The Principals. I suppose if anything is a good testing ground for the products claims, it would be an open-air kiosk of entirely white surfaces. I sleep in something very similar myself, so I am glad to know the layers of moisture-wicking cotton, anti-microbial lining, a super-absorbent fabric, and a leak-resistant barrier have got me covered.
But of course, there’s no need to reserve this blanket for those “red zone” plays (that was a football joke, art nerds) — the blanket is two-sided, so you can Netflix and chill whether you’re watching The Hunt for Red October or not, if you know what I mean.
Kudos to Thinx for this “taboo-smashing” product! I’m so excited to have a cozy alternative to my current solution of performing menstrual sex in a crude, dirt-floored backyard hut made of sticks and animal fur, that I won’t even mention we are centuries overdue in mainstreaming this quotidian function of female biology that is literally going on somewhere in your vicinity at all times. Ride ‘em, cowgirls!