In Retaliation to MoMA’s “@” Acquisition, China Acquires the Rest of the Keyboard

The Xinhua News Agency is reporting that the Chinese authorities have ordered the National Museum of China to lay claim to the rest of the Latin keyboard fearing that the acquisition of “@” by the Museum of Modern Art would lead to a flood of acquisitions by other American institutions.

When asked about Beijing’s shocking announcement, MoMA design curator Paola Antonelli replied, “We didn’t realize this would happen, we’re as surprised as everyone. We would’ve acquired the rest of the letters, numbers, and symbols but we are already debating where we should store @.”

Chinese officials released an official memo last night, explaining that the following characters in the Latin alphabet have been acquired by the National Museum of China:

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz`1234567890-=~!#$%^&*()_+[]\{}|;’:”,./<>?

US President Obama addressed the issue during his morning press conference where he explained that, “America is committed to safeguarding its citizens and their design freedoms.”

US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton is traveling to Tokyo today to meet with Japanese officials to determine a unified strategy.

Daily Kos has reported that the US Education Department has already started a campaign to adopt cuneiform as the new alphabet of all nations that currently use Latin characters. In order to avoid a repeat crisis, the Education Dept.’s proposal also recommends that the Library of Congress acquire all the characters of cuneiform immediately.

Calls to the Chinese embassy in Washington, DC, were not returned.

[SPOOF]