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# 5 Art Job Openings That Are Definitely Not Exploitative
- URL: https://hyperallergic.com/5-art-job-openings-that-are-definitely-not-exploitative/
- Published: 2026-04-01T04:07:20.000Z
- Updated: 2026-04-01T04:07:19.000Z
- Description: Qualifications include a malleable moral compass, and compensation is sometimes guaranteed.
- Author: Lisa Yin Zhang
- Tags: Satire, April Fools

### **Instagram Comment Moderator for Collector and Museum Trustee**

Your role is to delete any messages related to the following subjects:

- Nepo babies
- Associations with Jeffrey Epstein
- Safariland tear gas

**Schedule:** 20 hours/week

**Qualifications:** Malleable moral compass

**Compensation:** Minimum wage

---

### **Assistant to Famous Artist**

Important and famous Artist seeking assistant. 

**Responsibilities:**

- Cogitate with Artist about new ideas (all ideas remain property of Artist in perpetuity)
- Keep Artist in good graces with Artist’s wife
- Relay birthday wishes to Artist’s children (annually, each)
- Walk (andoccasionally carry) elderly, incontinent corgi,five times per day
- Other miscellaneous tasks as they occur to Artist,who may or may not communicate them to you

**Schedule:** Flexible (i.e. available at all hours)

**Qualifications:**

- Naive
- Good-looking
- Under the age of 25

**Compensation:**

- $500/month stipend

---

### **Sentence Complicator**

Prominent art institution seeks sentence complicator to coordinate jargon and assist with rendering press releases, wall texts, and catalogs to be more robust and intellectually impressive. 

**Responsibilities:**

- Increase syntactic complexity without contributing to meaning
- Substitute plain language with theoretical terminology
- Expand sentences to contain minimum of three clauses each
- Ensure opacity across all public-facing materials
- Strong knowledge and mastery of International Art English

**Qualifications:** The more advanced and esoteric the degree, the better

**Compensation:** $0.01/word 

---

### **Artist Residency**

Residents join a values-driven, community-oriented environment centered on care, reciprocity, and shared maintenance. 

**Responsibilities:**

- Daily animal stewardship (pig)
- Contribute to group dynamics (positively or negatively, both OK)
- Engage in weekly meditative latrine-cleaning

**Qualifications:**

- Require minimal privacy
- Enjoy manual labor

**Compensation:** $5,000 (You pay us)

---

### **Extra in Notable Artist’s Performance Art Project**

As part of a $100,000 Hugo Boss prize, a notable artist seeks participants for embodied endurance-based performance art project. Selected candidates will lie out in the sun for three days and three nights as a commentary on labor and capitalism with vaguely religious undertones. 

**Responsibilities:**

- Endure
- Persist
- Exist

**Compensation:** Exposure