Remember the infamous 80 year old who “restored” the 19th C. fresco in a Spanish church? Some may think it’s a joke, but we think she’s a genius. Her unique brand of restoration foregrounds the meaning of things. What is a masterpiece? Who decides? Why is a crown of thorns better than a fur hat? And why should mouths have to be drawn completely anyway?

The Punk Restorer™ (from her Grindr account)

We thought about all the artists, including Fred Wilson and Banksy, who have been invited into museums to remix their collections or alter works, but how about masterpieces? Why are we soo timid?

We invited The Punk Restorer™ — we thought she needed rebranding — to shuck away her attempts to restore minor works and tackle masterpieces instead. She reluctantly agreed. Below is her handy work. A new revolutionary movement of art restoration is born. Behold genius.

[Spoof]

You and I know that Leonardo’s “Mona Lisa” never looked soo good. And finally, someone fixed that wry smile.

Nothing is more enchanting that Vermeer’s “Girl with a Pearl Earring” but honestly, subtlety doesn’t work anymore, this isn’t the 17th C.

Van Gogh needs to get over himself. A self-portrait becomes something to really probe his soul and why paint an ear when he’s going to eventually lose it anyway? Oh wait, that’s the other one. Oopps.

To demonstrate her true range The Punk Restorer™, who is obviously influenced by Norwegian modernist Edvard Munch, decided to take this work into another (more accessible) direction and who gets why there were boats on the water anyway — a good restorer knows when to edit.

Elizabeth Taylor may have been fodder for Andy Warhol’s silkscreens, but in the finished work by the masterful Spanish octogenarian her hair is obviously more mane than halo. Genius!

The Editors divide their time between Kinshasa, Brno, Goa, and Tikrit. They are fabulous and they will always be at the party you weren't invited to.

15 replies on “Exclusive: Octogenarian Restorer Strikes Again!”

  4. even tough I think this “who is to decide what is art and what is not” could hold some water I really do not like the approach to the article or the fact that such literal rubbish is even being published about an old lady who made an accidental good point on how badly is the process of restoring our visual legacy at this point. Calling her a punk is just tacky and frankly You are being rude. This is for cheap news tabloids. Yuck.

  5. –Her unique brand of restoration–

    Are you joking, Editors? That’s not restoration. Granny painted it over
    with her own interpretation. If she ever does this ‘restoration’ at the
    Sistine Chapel, I’ll beat her to death with her own brushes.

      1. I don’t think she restored the authentic fresco in the church, she just made a copy of it and had it her way. And even if you don’t like her style (I also abhor Grandma Moses), it’s her right.

        1. No… She did it on the real fresco. She was sad to not see it restored. Sad thing is someone had just left money for its restoration so it would have gotten done.

  7. Amazing comments; it’s sad so many people are afflicted with with the inability to process and recognize humor. Hopefully our country’s best nuerologists will get right on solving this grave disease; it’s a serious issue.

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