Exclusive: Octogenarian Restorer Strikes Again!

Remember the infamous 80 year old who “restored” the 19th C. fresco in a Spanish church? Some may think it’s a joke, but we think she’s a genius. Her unique brand of restoration foregrounds the meaning of things. What is a masterpiece? Who decides? Why is a crown of thorns better than a fur hat? And why should mouths have to be drawn completely anyway?

The Punk Restorer™ (from her Grindr account)

We thought about all the artists, including Fred Wilson and Banksy, who have been invited into museums to remix their collections or alter works, but how about masterpieces? Why are we soo timid?

We invited The Punk Restorer™ — we thought she needed rebranding — to shuck away her attempts to restore minor works and tackle masterpieces instead. She reluctantly agreed. Below is her handy work. A new revolutionary movement of art restoration is born. Behold genius.


You and I know that Leonardo’s “Mona Lisa” never looked soo good. And finally, someone fixed that wry smile.
Nothing is more enchanting that Vermeer’s “Girl with a Pearl Earring” but honestly, subtlety doesn’t work anymore, this isn’t the 17th C.
Van Gogh needs to get over himself. A self-portrait becomes something to really probe his soul and why paint an ear when he’s going to eventually lose it anyway? Oh wait, that’s the other one. Oopps.
To demonstrate her true range The Punk Restorer™, who is obviously influenced by Norwegian modernist Edvard Munch, decided to take this work into another (more accessible) direction and who gets why there were boats on the water anyway — a good restorer knows when to edit.
Elizabeth Taylor may have been fodder for Andy Warhol’s silkscreens, but in the finished work by the masterful Spanish octogenarian her hair is obviously more mane than halo. Genius!
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