This week’s comic by Lauren Purje ignited a flurry of responses suggesting what others often say (or wish they’d said) when people make the very clichéd statement: “My Kid Could Do That.”
We’ve compiled some of our favorite comebacks, comments, and zingers from the blogazine and our social media channels for your enjoyment.
* * *
@hyperallergic “How much for the little child? I want to buy your children and put them to work.”
— John T. Unger (@johntunger) April 30, 2013
@hyperallergic Ask parent for a business card and say “I’ve been looking for a child prodigy.” RT How to respond to “My kid could do that.”
— Aggie Toppins (@aggietoppins) April 30, 2013
@hyperallergic sign the kid to a management contract.
— L.A. TACO 🌴🌮 (@LATACO) April 30, 2013
@hyperallergic Or you could always just punch them
— Melanie (@ArtLifeLoveNYC) April 30, 2013
I’ve been known to unfriend for that. Is that bad?
There’s no point getting your feelings hurt. Be flattered – that will frustrate the person asking. Then loan them an umbrella to run your canvas through. Multiple reviews, guaranteed!
Can you prove your kid is really your kid?
never heard it said, but I’d just laugh and say “so your the asshole that goes around saying that.”
Make art like Robert Mapplethorpe then if someone says that their kid could do that you can have them arrested!
“Cool, does it sell?” and then, excitedly grab their arm and say; “I’d love to see it!”
So then your child is aware of the current state of art, art history, contemporary social politics and is able to make decisions about using or rejecting these points in the making and presentation of a work?
Really? Your kid could deconstruct art to it’s core principles, presenting a piece that exhibits movement, dynamism, contrast, pattern, and balance? Your kid could cause his viewer to question the nature of art, and the nature of their own existence? Your kid could impact society to such a degree that people make web comics about them over fifty five years after they die? Your kid can do that?! You have quite the kid.
i could have done that + but you didn’t = modern art
my art history teacher’s response to her friends and family who don’t “get” modern art when they say “Hey, I could make that for you in the garage.” she says “Yeah, but it wasn’t your idea.”
Well your kid should promptly be given a straight jacket, ‘cause they cray.
On the Blogazine
Trent Flock has these two very different responses (among others):
“No. Your kid absolutely could not make this. And you couldn’t have either. This was made back when abstract art was in its infancy and people were taking big chances by producing work that was not representational. Some of them were responding the best way they knew how to large cultural shifts, wordless emotions, or other more abstract art forms, such as jazz. Representational work no longer felt like an adequate visual language, so they began to create their own that works on an intuitive level. Rather than trying to categorize a work based on merits as you see them now from a different place in history and different role in society, just be present with it.”
OR (if I know the person)
“Your kid is a talentless idiot. Fuck off.”
David Klein suggests:
My response to statements like that, or “I could have done that,” is usually, “But you didn’t.” 🙂