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# A World Where Kids Go to Mapplethorpe Museums and the Gov't Pays for it #NSFW
- URL: https://hyperallergic.com/a-world-where-kids-go-to-mapplethorpe-museums-and-the-govt-pays-for-it-nsfw/
- Published: 2013-03-28T13:04:52.000Z
- Updated: 2025-11-24T16:45:32.000Z
- Description: The Onion satirical site has decided to "go there" for their latest art-related story titled, "Robert Mapplethorpe Children's Museum Celebrates Grand Opening," which almost sounds like it could be real. You know there has to be latex and lube involved … or something.
- Author: Hrag Vartanian
- Tags: Opinion, LOL, #wp, #wp-post, #image-position-hidden, #Import 2025-11-24 06:51 (2012, 2013, part 1)

![700](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2013/03/700.jpg)

The Onion satirical site has decided to “go there” for their latest art-related story titled, “[Robert Mapplethorpe Children’s Museum Celebrates Grand Opening](http://www.theonion.com/articles/robert-mapplethorpe-childrens-museum-celebrates-gr,31825/?ref=hyperallergic.com),” which almost sounds like it could be real … in a parallel universe.

They imagine a Robert Mapplethorpe Museum in Queens, NY that is:

> Located in a converted warehouse where the late artist reportedly shot several photographs of his infamous sadomasochistic X Portfolio in 1978, the brightly colored, 200,000-square-foot facility contains more than 60 hands-on installations. Each of the museum’s exhibits — which include dozens of pieces of textured, touchable erotic artwork, male and female genitalia silk-screening stations, and a working BDSM dungeon — are designed for children ages 3 and up.  
>  
> …  
>  
> “Our live stage recreations of classic Mapplethorpe pieces are sure to appeal to teens and adults, while younger kids just love our two-story vulva slide,” Greco continued. “There’s really something here for children of all ages.”

And my absolute favorite (*emphasis* mine):

> According to employees, the museum’s most popular attraction is the Coprophagia Activity Center. The walk-through exhibit, in which patrons travel down tunnels of spread-eagle nude figures, create virtual representations of fecal matter on interactive touch screens, and ride a fireman’s pole into a mouth-shaped ball pit, was reportedly *funded with a $40 million grant from the National Endowment for the Arts*.

And I agree with Brian Piana:

[![Screen Shot 2013-03-28 at 12.40.43 AM](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-28-at-12-40-43-am.png)](https://twitter.com/bpiana/status/317131689480568832?ref=hyperallergic.com)