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# Christie’s Launches Streaming Service That Allows You to Watch Money Being Laundered in Real-Time
- URL: https://hyperallergic.com/christies-streaming-service-money-laundering-april-1/
- Published: 2021-04-01T04:02:00.000Z
- Updated: 2025-11-24T16:38:36.000Z
- Description: White-collar criminals everywhere are toasting the legacy auction house.
- Author: Sarah Rose Sharp
- Tags: Satire, April Fools, #wp, #wp-post, #image-position-hidden, #Import 2025-11-24 09:11 (2021, 2022, part 1)

The art world is always looking for new ways to engage consumers. Today, the legacy auction house Christie’s announced the launch of a new platform that allows real-time viewing of money being laundered.

“Like art, criminal money laundering can be abstract at times,” said a representative from Christie’s. “This new streaming service really lets the viewer get involved!”

As we all know from the documentary series *Breaking Bad*, ill-gotten gains amount to only so much stackable paper if you can’t move them through legitimate systems of commerce. In the past, this meant creating nesting-doll structures of false businesses, shady accountants, and clandestine money-mule operations involving suitcases, fat suits, and private jets.

“It’s wild what technology has allowed us to do,” commented one non-taxpaying billionaire, who used voice-distorting software during a phone interview with Hyperallergic. “For the cost of a single painting, I can move what it used to take me three front businesses to clear. Then, the painting can [shred at the auction](https://hyperallergic.com/464419/1-3m-banksy-artwork-self-destructs-at-auction/) and somehow be worth *more*! What a racket!”

White-collar criminals everywhere are toasting Christie’s as “the greatest of all time” and “total scammers” — but some worry that this new level of radical visibility will affect other activities reserved for the criminally wealthy. And it might be true! ABC has already announced plans for a new *Survivor*\-style reality TV series that takes place on the remote island where the ultra-rich go to hunt human targets.

“It’s concerning, but as long as no one reveals the location and access codes to our billionaires-only Mars colony, I think we’ll be fine,” said Elon Musk.