> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://hyperallergic.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Crimes of the Art - URL: https://hyperallergic.com/crimes-of-the-art-75/ - Published: 2016-08-23T19:55:11.000Z - Updated: 2025-11-24T15:36:53.000Z - Description: On this week’s art crime blotter: a cycling-themed cow statue goes missing, one art dealer sues another over a Jeff Koons sculpture, and a former guard takes the Metropolitan Museum to court. - Author: Benjamin Sutton - Tags: News, Art Crime, Crimes of the Art, David Zwirner Gallery, Jeff Koons, Lawsuits, Metropolitan Museum of Art, Vandalism, #wp, #wp-post, #image-position-hidden, #Import 2025-11-24 07:17 (2016, 2017, part 1) !["Cycling Moo Kay" with artist artist Charles Rowbotham (left) and Doug Clare (right) (photo courtesy Cycling UK)](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2016/08/crimes-art-cycling-moo-kay.jpg) “Cycling Moo Kay” with artist Charles Rowbotham (left) and Cycling UK member Doug Clare (right) (photo courtesy Cycling UK) [*Crimes of the Art*](http://hyperallergic.com/tag/crimes-of-the-art/) *is a weekly survey of artless criminals’ cultural misdeeds. Crimes are rated on a highly subjective scale from one “Scream” emoji — the equivalent of a vandal tagging the exterior of a local history museum in a remote part of the US — to five “Scream” emojis — the equivalent of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist.* ## Sculpture of Bovine Bicyclist Bolts ![crimes-of-the-art-scream-2](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2015/02/crimes-of-the-art-scream-2.jpg) A life-size sculpture of a cow titled “Cycling Moo Kay” was stolen from its spot in front of a café in Surrey and a neighboring fiberglass cow tipped over. The sculptures were among those installed throughout the county to raise money for the charity Cycling UK. A spokesperson [told the *Standard*](http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/surrey-charity-devastated-after-lifesized-fiberglass-cow-stolen-in-the-middle-of-the-night-a3325246.html?ref=hyperallergic.com): “It is quite a unique piece of art and not easy to sell so why would you steal it unless you had a cow fetish?” **Verdict:** The police are asking the public for cow tips. ## Lawsuit Over Koons Gazing Ball Rolls On ![crimes-of-the-art-scream-4](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2015/02/crimes-of-the-art-scream-4.jpg) London-based Old Masters dealer Fabrizio Moretti is [suing](http://theartnewspaper.com/news/news/jeff-koons-s-gazing-ball-sculpture-at-centre-of-legal-tussle-between-art-dealers/?ref=hyperallergic.com) David Zwirner and his namesake gallery for allegedly failing to deliver Jeff Koons’s sculpture “[Gazing Ball (Centaur and Lapith Maiden)](http://www.davidzwirner.com/exhibition/gazing-ball/page/9/?view=works-single&ref=hyperallergic.com)” (2013), which Moretti bought in 2014 for $2 million. Though he was originally seeking to recover the purchase price of the work, Moretti is now demanding $6 million in damages. **Verdict:** Zwirner is onto something here — a lot of people would pay $2 million to *not* receive a Koons. ## Former Guard Sues Metropolitan Museum ![crimes-of-the-art-scream-3](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2015/02/crimes-of-the-art-scream-3.jpg) James Smith, a former guard at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, was fired after being blamed for green marks that appeared on two statues in the Egyptian galleries he was charged with patrolling; he’s now [suing](http://nypost.com/2016/08/21/museum-guard-blamed-for-drawings-on-artifacts-suit/?ref=hyperallergic.com) the institution. Smith claims security camera footage exonerates him of the alleged vandalism. **Verdict:** Setting the record straight with the museum is one thing, but will the mummy consider the security camera footage and lift its curse? ## Stealing Art Is So en Vogue ![crimes-of-the-art-scream-2](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2015/02/crimes-of-the-art-scream-2.jpg) Art dealer Yoneh Mizrahi [stole](https://pagesix.com/2016/08/19/brooklyn-man-charged-with-swiping-45k-diana-vreeland-portrait/?ref=hyperallergic.com) street artist Bradley Theodore’s portrait of former *Vogue* editor Diana Vreeland as a glamorous skeleton off the wall of Chelsea’s Dream Downtown hotel. Less than 24 hours after the early-morning heist, the painting was delivered by messenger back to the hotel. Mizrahi has been charged with criminal possession of stolen property and grand larceny. **Verdict:** The NYPD doesn’t care if you have a change of art. ## Art Theft Ain’t Easy, It’s Ezekiel ![crimes-of-the-art-scream-1](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2015/02/crimes-of-the-art-scream-1.jpg) A stained-glass panel depicting the prophet Ezekiel was [stolen](http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-leicestershire-37090370?ref=hyperallergic.com) from a 16th-century chapel in Withcote, a small village in Leicestershire, UK. Experts believe someone may have commissioned the theft of the panel, which was done by Galeon Hone, one of King Henry VIII’s royal glaziers. **Verdict:** These stained-glass thieves have really *honed* their craft. ## Stolen Zebra Statue Earns Its Stripes ![crimes-of-the-art-scream-1](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2015/02/crimes-of-the-art-scream-1.jpg) “Ticket to Ride,” a life-size sculpture of a zebra that was installed along an art trail in Southampton, UK, was stolen and eventually found floating in the Itchen River by a group of children during their sailing class. “I’ve found some unusual items in the river before,” sailing instructor Sam Spencer [told the BBC](http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hampshire-37128329?ref=hyperallergic.com), “but in the 18 years I’ve been sailing I’ve never found anything as remarkable as this.” **Verdict:** Clearly “Ticket to Ride” wanted a ticket to sail. ## Children’s Charity Jar Smashed ![crimes-of-the-art-scream-3](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2015/02/crimes-of-the-art-scream-3.jpg) A glass jar created by artist Caio Locke to collect donations for Save the Children and positioned outside Glasgow’s Gallery of Modern Art was [destroyed](http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/14692526.Artwork%5Fset%5Fto%5Fraise%5Fthousands%5Ffor%5FSave%5Fthe%5FChildren%5Fvandalised%5Fin%5FGlasgow/?ref=hyperallergic.com) and its contents stolen. Passersby then began using the cracked artwork as a trashcan. Locke’s jar was due to be auctioned off to raise additional funds for the charity. **Verdict:** The crooks’ lack of any kind of decency or empathy is jarring.