CHICAGO — Last December, rumors about a North Korean unicorn lair circulated the internet. Word got out that an ancient Korean king once rode this mythical beast. But soon it was discovered that this “unicorn” was not an actual unicorn, but rather an English mistranslation of the word “unicorn.” According to a report on International Business Times, the animal was actually a “beast with a dragon’s head, a deer’s body, the tail of a cow, hooves and a mane.” Because North Korea is known in the US for mysteries like these, and because the internet loves to consume bizarre or “weird” news, headlines about the supposed mythical unicorn creature lived for a while in readers’ minds.
Kymia Nawabi took home first prize on season two of Bravo’s Work of Art: The Next Great Artist, taking home $100,000 and a solo exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum. On the final episode of Work of Art, she organized her works in a presentation entitled Not for Long, My Forlorn, a series of drawings that acted as meditations on life and death channeled through ravenous, otherworldly beings and animals that inhabit a purgatory-like space.
The time has come. Last night was the last episode of Work of Art this season. One of our artistes dreams was made, and two others were crushed, much like bones after a terrible murder. I often follow up my Work of Art viewings with SVU. It puts the devastating losses in perspective.
Simon comes to visit the home of the bonding couch. He sends the artistes on a train ride! They head up to idyllic Cold Springs, New York, where China greets them in a rather fetching trench coat/dress combo. We expect so much from her.
This week, China announces that this week, “it’s time to sell out.” Because no one has “sold out” by going on a reality show, right? Anyways, the challenge is to create art to sell in the street and also display in the gallery. Art and commerce! The challenge rules are a little different: everyone works in teams of two, and they have five hours to combine shopping and studio time.
We open with our artistes bonding on their bonding couch that they always bond on. They mourn the loss of the Sucklord, until they remember that Dusty had promised Young that if their team won the previous challenge, Dusty would wear Young’s short shorts. A disturbingly sexually charged montage follows. This show is so fucking weird.
OMG guys, the artistes have arrived in Brooklyn. China Chow announces the challenge. They artists have to do street art! In Williamsburg! So hood. It’s a team challenge, too. Apparently art is the new Quidditch.
This week, we commence with some shots of our artistes at home, followed by another Bravo tradition: an absurdly early wake-up! This is a classic Bravo tradition in which the host/mentor, in our case, Simon, comes over to whatever West Elm palace the reality show competitors happen to be staying in, and awaken them obscenely early to take them to their next hellish challenge.
This week’s Work of Art begins with a staple of Bravo reality competition shows: children and foreboding music. Ah yes, this is the week our artistes must show that they can handle the youngins. But then, another surprise! OMG IT’S CARRIE BRADSHAW. She gives them their challenge: the artists have to make a piece complimenting work of the children brought in. And so the exploitation of children begins.
SAN FRANCISCO — With all this extra time to daydream about the perfect relationship, I’ve composed a list of the top 10 art world figures I’d like to do the nasty with. Some are expected, some are not. Some are for social climbing purposes, some are not. But really, all are for love.
This week’s Work of Art begins with the arrival of our intrepid artistes at the Phillips de Prury auction house. They follow a line of tin cans until low and behold! A mountain of tin cans! Next to one Andy Warol’s soup can paintings! Guess what kids, it’s time for a Pop art challenge!
Bravo’s massively entertaining (at least to us) Work of Art is back! Or at least it came back last week. Apologies for the lack of a recap; we were too distracted by Sexy Ugo to write anything down. But since he was eliminated, it’s no longer an issue! We can focus on the art! And Jerry Saltz fondling wooden testicles!