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# "These Guys" by B. C. Edwards
- URL: https://hyperallergic.com/these-guys-by-b-c-edwards/
- Published: 2014-01-21T15:33:24.000Z
- Updated: 2025-11-24T16:44:42.000Z
- Description: Our poetry editor, Joe Pan, has selected a poem by B.C. Edwards for his monthly series that brings original poetry to the screens of Hyperallergic readers.
- Author: B.C. Edwards
- Tags: Poetry, Hyperallergic Poetry, #wp, #wp-post, #image-position-hidden, #Import 2025-11-24 07:03 (2014, 2015, part 1)

*Our poetry editor,* [*Joe Pan*](http://joepan.org/?ref=hyperallergic.com)*, has selected a poem by B.C. Edwards for his* [*monthly series*](http://hyperallergic.com/tag/hyperallergic-poetry/) *that brings original poetry to the screens of Hyperallergic readers.*

\* \* \*

![Hans Brinker, "Planeta Musac" (2007) (image via flickr.com/hansbrinker)](https://storage.ghost.io/c/51/f8/51f871d8-b6be-4a73-b958-0ca4fff0110a/content/images/hyperallergic-newspack-s3-amazonaws-com/uploads/2014/01/483258494_a6c4746f64_z.jpg)

Hans Brinker, “Planeta Musac” (2007) (image via flickr.com/hansbrinker)

**These Guys**

Sam,  
for Halloween I was Freddy Krueger writing a novel,  
you were that guy who created the electronic cigarette and therefore  
introduced the word *vaping*,  
which we all agreed was a travesty.  
Or you were Joan of Arc before God showed up.  
Or didn’t. Or simply went crazy.  
And I was the Chicago that invented the Manual of Style.  
Everyone thought I was a city. I wasn’t. I was a dude.  
Or I was Dracula, if Dracula was a guy  
who wished he was a girl  
who dressed like a guy.  
And you were Joseph after Jesus  
got all famous and uppity and forgot where he came from;  
you drank Jameson all-night and talked sourly about the Catholics  
who thought your wife was such a cool piece of ass.  
Or I was the small Chinese man overseeing  
the filling of bottles that hold the solution  
used to clean the glass screens of iPhones  
in the FoxConn factory in China,  
the one that is giving everyone nerve damage.  
And you shook all night long.  
And we won all of the prizes.  
Sampson, we have so much fucking candy.