One might argue that most dolls are a little bit creepy — me, I am arguing that — but the History Center of Olmsted County in Rochester, Minnesota is embracing the Halloween holiday season with a showcase of nothing but the creepiest dolls from its collection of historical and clearly damned objects. We all know the classic formula: doll + age + disrepair = nightmare juice, but the History Center has really brought out the big guns.
Images of dolls from the collection were posted each day to the museum’s Instagram and Facebook, from October 16 to the 24, to rack up likes as votes for the creepiest doll. One doll has whited-out eyes, from where her open-and-shut eyelids stopped responding. One doll looks like if the tethered little boy from Us had a doll counterpart to, I dunno, a teddy bear? Honestly, it has one arm and is so creepy I can’t look at it long enough to create a good metaphor. One doll has HUMAN HAIR. The contest has been so popular, all nine dolls from the historical haunted collection, plus fifteen more, will be on display at the History Center from October 29 to December 1, so if you aren’t able to make it out for extended-hours Halloween tonight, you still will have a chance to see things you can never unsee and seed future therapy for your children!
The museum, for its part, obviously cherishes the local history attached to these dolls, as a part of a wider collection that champions Olmsted Country heritage. As would we all, if we were the sole proud survivors of a people murdered by haunted dolls, who have just been waiting for their moment to rise again and taste blood! The winner, revealed today, is of course the Us doll — in honor of the big win, at midnight this doll will come alive and stare through the gloom of a darkened bedroom at one of the people who voted for it! Second and third runners up will scrabble around in the walls. That’s why you don’t fuck with dolls, guys. It’s all fun and games until they know where you sleep.
Kudos to the History Center of Olmsted, for getting the whole internet in on the scariest of scares this Halloween! Lock your doors and windows, even though it doesn’t matter because haunted dolls can get in places you won’t even think of! Happy Halloween!