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Some Doritos with Your Goya? Old Master Still Lifes Get an Update

With a bit too much time on my hands and a subscription to Adobe Photoshop I have been playing with an idea: what will happen to traditional still life paintings when elements from contemporary life are grafted into them?

John Seed

John Seed

— 2 min read
"Kitchen Still Life with a Copper Cauldron, a Mortar and Pestle, a Leek, and a Gallon of Milk" (after Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin)
“Kitchen Still Life with a Copper Cauldron, a Mortar and Pestle, a Leek, and a Gallon of Milk” (after Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin) (all illustrations by the author for Hyperallergic)

With a bit too much time on my hands and a subscription to Adobe Photoshop I have been playing with an idea: what will happen to traditional still life paintings when elements from contemporary life are grafted into them? Some of the answers — in visual form here — are strikingly strange and darkly funny.

Each image is accompanied with the name of the artist whose original painting has been used for my satirical purposes. I hope they will all forgive me from their graves.

"Still Life of a Rotisserie Chicken, a Ham and Olives on Pewter Plates with a Bread Roll, an Orange, Wineglasses and a Rose on a Wooden Table" (after Oslas Beer)
“Still Life of a Rotisserie Chicken, a Ham and Olives on Pewter Plates with a Bread Roll, an Orange, Wineglasses and a Rose on a Wooden Table” (after Oslas Beer)
"Still Life with Cake and Red Bull" (after Raphaelle Peale)
“Still Life with Cake and Red Bull” (after Raphaelle Peale)
"Still Life with Salmon and Doritos" (after Francisco Goya)
“Still Life with Salmon and Doritos” (after Francisco Goya)
"Still Life with Oysters and Pepsi-Cola" (after Willem Claeszoon Heda)
“Still Life with Oysters and Pepsi-Cola” (after Willem Claeszoon Heda)
"Butcher's Stall with Mylar Cow Balloon and the Flight into Egypt" (after Pieter Aertsen)
“Butcher’s Stall with Mylar Cow Balloon and the Flight into Egypt” (after Pieter Aertsen)
"Vanitas Still Life With Skull and iPhone Clock" (after Pieter Claesz)
“Vanitas Still Life With Skull and iPhone Clock” (after Pieter Claesz)