Opinion

A World Where Kids Go to Mapplethorpe Museums and the Gov’t Pays for it #NSFW

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The Onion satirical site has decided to “go there” for their latest art-related story titled, “Robert Mapplethorpe Children’s Museum Celebrates Grand Opening,” which almost sounds like it could be real … in a parallel universe.

They imagine a Robert Mapplethorpe Museum in Queens, NY that is:

Located in a converted warehouse where the late artist reportedly shot several photographs of his infamous sadomasochistic X Portfolio in 1978, the brightly colored, 200,000-square-foot facility contains more than 60 hands-on installations. Each of the museum’s exhibits — which include dozens of pieces of textured, touchable erotic artwork, male and female genitalia silk-screening stations, and a working BDSM dungeon — are designed for children ages 3 and up.

“Our live stage recreations of classic Mapplethorpe pieces are sure to appeal to teens and adults, while younger kids just love our two-story vulva slide,” Greco continued. “There’s really something here for children of all ages.”

And my absolute favorite (emphasis mine):

According to employees, the museum’s most popular attraction is the Coprophagia Activity Center. The walk-through exhibit, in which patrons travel down tunnels of spread-eagle nude figures, create virtual representations of fecal matter on interactive touch screens, and ride a fireman’s pole into a mouth-shaped ball pit, was reportedly funded with a $40 million grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.

And I agree with Brian Piana:

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