Every once in a while, the news produces a tale with players that defy easy categorization. On the surface of things, one would think that getting hammered on a first date and destroying hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of art at your host’s house, including two of his original Andy Warhol paintings, is pretty much the calling card of an unrepentant villain. His lawyers would tend to agree.
As reported by BuzzFeed News and KHOU, high-profile Texas attorney Anthony Buzbee filed charges against Lindy Lou Layman, a 29-year-old Dallas court reporter, concerning the extracurricular vandalism that took place on their December 23 first date. As the evening progressed, Layman allegedly hid twice from Buzbee in his $14-million Houston mansion, and then started destroying pieces of his art collection when he tried to call her a ride home. What better way to say, “I’m into you,” than by drunkenly tearing paintings off the wall, pouring “an unidentified liquid” on them, and throwing two abstract sculptures (valued at $20,000 apiece) across the room? Forget about ghosting — this lady went poltergeist!
I know, I know, the wanton destruction of art is never an appropriate way to express one’s feelings, but Buzbee “recently made headlines for parking a tank outside his mansion, sparking a fight with his homeowners’ association and, according to Buzbee’s Facebook, a rash of tickets. Buzbee also hosted Donald Trump for a 2016 fundraiser.” Sounds like a visit from the Poltergeist of Christmas Present couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy! Layman was released in lieu of a $30,000 bail, otherwise I’d be tempted to throw a fundraiser of my own for this hometown hero, to make sure Lindy Lou gets back to Whoville in time for New Year. I bet she’s the life of the party!
Vengeful spirit or karma chameleon? It’s all in how you look at things. One suspects Andy himself would get a kick out of this tale of high holiday drama, notwithstanding that two of the paintings were original Warhols valued at $500,000 apiece, but if we must take a sober view on the matter, let it stand as a timely warning of the risks of trolling holiday Tinder. Call me an old-fashioned romantic, but I still hold out hope that the incident will one day make a memorable wedding toast for this lovable pair!