BREAKING: Lebron James to Sign With Knicks After Jeff Koons Agrees to Redesign Uniforms

As part of the deal, Lebron James has purchased Jeff Koons’s “Three Ball Total Equilibrium Tank” (1985) and has agreed to use each ball during an upcoming playoff game as a way to create synergy between the city’s sports and art worlds.

Sources close to Hyperallergic have learned, from sources close to artist Jeff Koons — and his 120+ assistants — that the artist of choice of the last gilded age has met with NBA player Lebron James this morning in a final pitch for the New York Knicks to land the basketball superstar. That’s right, it seems that even the art world has been consumed by Lebron-mania.

In what appears to be a last minute deal, Koons has agreed to design Knicks uniforms if Lebron decides to land in the Big Apple. The meeting lasted for just under an hour with the art and sports celebrities comparing Rolexes, bank statements, photos of lovers on their cell phones, and finally the moment James had been waiting for.

Koons presented what is believed to be the prototype for a “new” look New York Knicks. Word has it that James was amazed by the work, which consisted of a Sharpie doodle on a Four Seasons napkin and an inflatable toy. He asked Koons if there was any art he and his friends could purchase as a thank you for the artist’s hard work and, of course, there was.

Sources close to the artist and the athlete claim James is agreeing to join the Knicks if Koons not only redesigns the uniforms, but also the team plane, the exterior of Madison Square Garden, and the Knicks locker rooms – even suggesting Koons integrate balloon dog benches into the final design and that he should consider designing tattoos for the players. The meeting also revealed that there have been discussions over the past month with the city of New York that Koons may redesign not only Penn Station but the entire West Side, in what is surely an act of irony.

Both James and Koons have not returned calls at the time of the publication of this article.


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