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MIAMI BEACH — I don’t need to tell YOU this, but to go to the Hyperallergic Aqua Art Miami party is like entering a topsy-turvy world where black is white, up is down, left is right but sometimes down, too. My point is that Hyperallergic parties can be strange.
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Last week I was asked by the editors at Hyperallergic to fly to Miami and document the attendees at their Aqua Art Miami party. Of course, at first I was insulted and hung up on them.
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You know, speaking of the Fall Openings Season, students often ask me whether there is any particular etiquette regarding how an artist should behave at openings.
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How is this possible? I had every intention of turning off my "sexy radar" and avoiding another love crisis. Especially after the last gallery assistant made such a show of her capriciousness. But what am I to do? The heart wants what the heart wants and my heart is no different than anyone else’s h
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Whenever I do a grad school visit, the question I’m most often asked is “How do I get a gallery?” It’s never “Oh! How are you Mr. Grossmalerman?” or “ Would you like to feel how soft my freshly washed hair is?” No! It’s always “How do I get a gallery?” So, by this anecdotal evidence I’m simply going
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I would first like to make it very clear that I am not writing this out of jealousy or any sort of hot gay sex envy. Alright? Now, with that out of the way.
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After a long night of questionably consensual love making with a dead-eyed heavily accented spectre I was awoken by the ship’s steward.
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Well, did I ever have an exciting and downright adventurous Armory week!
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Recently, I stumbled into a post opening party where a number of fellow painters were squabbling over the the age old question of which paint tastes the best. If you’re not a painter you may not be aware of this long running argument. But, I suppose every subculture has it’s points of contention.
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I would like to begin by thanking Hyperallergic for allowing me to reach out to their readership about this exciting opportunity. I, Jonathan Grossmalerman, am looking for a new studio assistant.