A photo from the excavations near the Sea of Galilee (photo courtesy the Museum of the Bible)
In what could be an earth-shattering discovery that will rewrite the history books and religious texts around the world, the Museum of the Bible has discovered a recording of the Sermon on the Mount in a flowerbed near the Sea of Galilee. The discovery includes a 23-minute recording of what it claims to be Jesus not only reciting the whole sermon, but followed by a never-before-heard commentary from a combative crowd afterward, with one listener heckling Jesus with a phrase in Aramaic that translates as “manger dude.”
“This just proves that Jesus was always against the grain,” explained Joachim Nebuchadnezzar, the spokesperson for the Museum of the Bible. “This recording proves not only the veracity of the holy text, but why the Museum of the Bible deserves our nonprofit status by promoting only the most respected scholars in the field.”
The excavation was led by a team at Baylor University, which has been excavating in the region since working with the Israeli government to dispossess the Asfour farmlands near the sea.
The museum plans to place the recording online with the help of a grant from the Lakewood Church, the US’s biggest super church, and it will include teaching materials for homeschoolers and Sunday schools.
“I think this recording will prove once and for all what many of us wanted to … I mean, know to be true,” Nebuchadnezzar added.
No independent scholars would reply to Hyperallergic’s request for comment, with one academic at Ohio University simply responding with a gif of little children laughing.
The Latest
Remembering the Migrants Who Died in US Detention
Artist Jackie Amézquita will lead a caravan of trucks with the names of the deceased to LA sites representing systems of oppression and solidarity for immigrants.
Mark Thomas Gibson’s Cartoons See the US Going Nowhere
If Thomas Nast, who is considered the “Father of the American Cartoon,” has an heir, it is Gibson, who goes one step further and elevates caricature and commentary into art.
LSU School of Art Grants Highest MFA Stipends in the Southern US
With funded assistantships, full tuition waivers, and generous stipends, Louisiana State University helps students lay the groundwork for a successful lifelong art practice.
Kahori Kamiya Transmutes Grief Into Play
Through artworks that encourage viewers to explore varied vantages, Kamiya conveys her accrued wisdom and experiences without the weight of their pain.
Maya Deren in Vivid Focus
Maya Deren: Choreographed for Camera depicts how the artist’s life and ideas cemented her place as a champion and influencer of culture.
School of the Art Institute of Chicago Offers Summer Art and Design Courses Online and On-Campus
Emerging and established artists can choose from over 50 Adult Continuing Education courses at one of the most influential art and design schools in the US.
AI Image Generators Finally Figured Out Hands
Midjourney fixed its inability to render hands realistically, one of the telltale signs of an image being AI-generated.
Lorraine O’Grady, Emily Jacir Among American Academy of Arts’s 2023 Awardees
Artist Faith Ringgold and scholar Helen Hennessy Vendler received this year’s gold medals.
IDSVA Offers a Non-Studio PhD in Visual Arts: Philosophy, Aesthetics, and Art Theory
With no campus, the Institute for Doctoral Studies in the Visual Arts is a truly nomadic institution, existing everywhere our students and faculty are.
MTV’s The Exhibit Needs a Cutthroat Judge
In episode three, the artists created works about the pandemic and bonded with each other, which is cute but doesn’t really make for good TV.
Cauleen Smith’s Drylongso Depicts a Bygone Oakland
Smith’s 1998 film exudes the DIY charm of a low-budget, first-time feature while keenly depicting the complexities of both race- and gender-related inequalities.
Tyler School of Art and Architecture Opens 2023 MFA Thesis Exhibition Series
Students working in diverse disciplines explore temporality, connectedness in time and space, and global reckonings. On view in Philadelphia.
Take Ai Weiwei’s Middle Finger Anywhere in the World
A new collaboration between the artist and Avant Arte invites users to flip the bird anywhere and everywhere on Google Maps.
Required Reading
This week, gifted DeSantis a “fascist” snowflake, NASA’s Webb telescope captures a supernova, corporatizing London’s creativity, and much more.
Real satire: https://www.theonion.com/satan-refuses-to-accept-any-more-catholic-priests-in-he-1828696347