Interior of one of the proposed Trump Hotel rooms adjoining the new Donald J. Trump Memorial Library. Amenities include room service, bedside urinals, and bathroom fixtures completely dripping in gold. (All images courtesy of the DJTrump Library)

With Donald Trump’s failure to win reelection officially confirmed (aside from in the minds of all but the criminally delusional, including Trump himself), it is time for DJT to start thinking about his legacy. Fortunately, the Donald J. Trump Library is already up and running, presenting a comprehensive overview of a man who defied every expectation about him, including those that foresaw him somehow being able to be a competent or dignified President of the United States.

The library, designed by an anonymous New York-based architect, has something to highlight all parts of DJT’s run in the Oval Office! There’s a COVID Memorial that gives visitors a quiet place to reflect on all the people who have died from the disease, promoted by disinformation campaigns, the oppositional-defiant disorder of his voting block, and of course, mistrust of science. I’m assuming mask-wearing will be optional in this area, as well as the partial graveyard planned for the roof garden. There’s also the Alt-Right Auditorium, which promises a stellar curated lineup of films, including Jud Süß, a 1940 Nazi German historical drama propaganda film, and 2-for-1 tickets of Birth of a Nation on White Supremacy Wednesday! I’m again assuming that between all planned programming, there will be a steady stream of breaking propaganda, lies, and nonsense courtesy of Fox News and Breitbart.

Exterior of the Library, with COVID statuary to emphasize a standout feature of the Trump presidency.
Hallway view, outside the Autocrats Gallery.

There are a number of permanent exhibitions planned, including the Wall of Criminality, Tax Evasion 101, and the Twitter Gallery, which canonize some of DJT’s most influential philosophies. There are lots of opportunities for visitors to stand in the shoes of our nation’s leaders, with the interactive exhibit Lie to America, which encourages everyone to practice presenting their own “alternative facts,” and the Replica West Wing, where everyone can take a moment to disgrace the lofty (if fundamentally flawed and racist) ideals upon which the nation was formed.

“Even from behind the legendary Resolute Desk, Donald Trump set new bars for all future presidents,” reads the curatorial statement. “You can rest assured, no matter how low they go, no one in all eternity will ever be able to sink this once great office any lower.” Oh, come now, what is the American Dream, if not the hope that future generations will go even further than those that have come before? Truly, if Trump has done little else, he’s proven that anyone can become President; exploit our system and sell it for parts; and still have time left for 285 days at the golf club (and counting)!

The COVID Graveyard, a VIP burial section for deceased supporters who did not take COVID seriously.
“With a campaign and an administration graced by criminal masterminds, such as the likes of Roger Stone, Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen, along with dozens of Russian nationals, the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library’s Big, Beautiful Prison Work Release Program and Mural is represented by only those with the tenacity and grit to pay someone to cheat on their SATs.”

Of course, libraries are first and foremost about research, and the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library promises to be no exception. The library archive “Play the Prosecutor” offers a Criminal Records Room, where visitors can “do the research on how YOU would prosecute Trump’s crimes against humanity!” It’s a fitting tribute to the man’s legacy of negligence in all facets of his professional and personal existence. Of course, the facility will contain no reference desk, because fact-checking and annotations are unnecessary in this library, which, based on its inspiration, will be more of a lie-brary. God bless America!

Sarah Rose Sharp is a Detroit-based writer, activist, and multimedia artist. She has shown work in New York, Seattle, Columbus and Toledo, OH, and Detroit — including at the Detroit Institute of Arts....