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The Brooklyn Museum’s KAWS exhibition was honored as the #1 site for bad Tinder dates.

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A new red flag popped up on the online dating scene, so prepare to swipe left! The Brooklyn Museum’s KAWS exhibition was honored as the #1 site for bad Tinder dates in New York, edging out fierce competition from Port Authority, the Trump Tower Bar & Grill, and the Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital.

“At least at the hospital, you can maybe get the COVID vaccine,” said Althea Jenkins after she agreed to go to the KAWS exhibition for a Tinder date with junior hedge fund manager Victor “Vic” Charvino. “He basically just talked about his job the whole time.”

“It was a panty-drying experience from the jump,” said Melissa Carmody of her date at the KAWS exhibit with tech bro Brian Brianson. “He explained every piece of art to me. I told him art is subjective, and he said, ‘No, it’s sculpture, I’m pretty sure.’”

Brianson, who spent the afternoon taking selfies in front of KAWS’s unaccountably popular artwork, had a different take on the afternoon.

“Chicks love art,” he said. “It’s a cool way to show them you are into culture and stuff.”

 “I feel like this work is about love, friendship, loneliness, and alienation,” said Roland Thrimble Jr., visibly reading from the wall text during an interview with Hyperallergic as he waited in the lobby for a first Tinder date with Michaela Frelingham, who he described as “at least an eight.”

“But it’s also worth a lot of money, so you know it’s good.”

“It’s a real honor to be named,” said a representative from the Brooklyn Museum, “and a true validation of our mission to bring the donors — er, the viewers, the art viewers — what they want.” She then excused herself, as she was running late to meet a Tinder date at the Met.

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Sarah Rose Sharp

Sarah Rose Sharp is a Detroit-based writer, activist, and multimedia artist. She has shown work in New York, Seattle, Columbus and Toledo, OH, and Detroit — including at the Detroit Institute of Arts....