By now, we’ve all been informed (against our will) that the sticky, muddy, porta-potty dumpster fire that was Burning Man 2023 has officially dissolved itself after less than an inch of rain over the Nevada desert prevented over 70,000 festival attendees from leaving or entering the temporary Black Rock City encampment. The festival touts itself as a week-long experience that claims to be all about “radical inclusion, de-commodification, self-reliance, self-expression, and leaving no trace.” Those tenets manifest in thousands of wealthy White people sporting box braids or loc extensions and clad in “Dune-inspired” festival outfits that somehow necessitate Native American war bonnets. They flock each year to the campsite from their STEM jobs in rented RVs and private jets to trip on psychedelics, dance and have sex with each other in and around shitty art installations, fulfill brand sponsorships, and gather to watch the annual effigy burning.
Not to mention that main sale tickets alone range from $600 to $3,000 … Now, I’ve never been to Burning Man, nor do I claim to fully understand what it actually is meant to be about, but that simply won’t stop me from hopping on the bandwagon of hating on it based on pictures and vibes alone, and I invite you to join me. Let us wade through the mud together to appreciate some well-cooked memes steeped in the misery and ridiculousness of porta-potties at capacity, stranded Instagram models and tech bros rooting around in the mud, false Ebola reports, mutually hated climate protestors, excessive cultural appropriation, a spectacular amount of waste and vehicles left behind, and the oxymoron that is the festival’s aims versus its attendees:
This was a tough watch, wasn’t it? This should at least help you understand why Burning Man is so polarizing between attendees (or “Burners”) and haters. For context, the “playa” is the dried-out lake bed in the northwest Black Rock desert that the festival encampment situates itself on, and “mooping” refers to the Burning Man term “MOOP,” which stands for “Matters Out Of Place” — any object not originally on or of the desert. Though, if anyone knows what a “plug-and-play” is in this context, feel free to let me know.
“Burning Man is all about getting out of your comfort zone” is what many techies must’ve told themselves.
Speaking of techies, what’s funnier than Elon Musk falling for this shitpost using footage from a Balenciaga (sorry, “Balengiaga” per the community notes) runway show? He asserts that Burning Man is the “best art on Earth.”
Two sides of the same coin, aren’t they?
This must be what the Burning Man Project means when they said “radical inclusion,” right guys? Right???
In case you weren’t aware, “radical inclusion” also means including cultural and racialized aesthetics into your temporary festival look for “protection against the drying, alkaline dust” during drug-induced Instagram photoshoots. Because French braids just don’t photograph as well, do they?
Now, let me put some respect on Herman Wakefield, vintage furniture repairer and scathing meme poster who has been carrying the weight of Burning Man’s muddy chaos on his back through several meme dumps on his Instagram account @northwest_mcm_wholesale. I took the liberty of sifting through nine sets of his Burning Man meme slides to hand-select my favorite ones just for you!
Evidence of societal regression over the last century.
Now, I know there’s a difference between King penguins and Emperor penguins, but do you think some MDMA might help boost Emperor penguin populations after the grim numbers this year due to habitat loss?
Plot twist: I don’t need to go all the way to Burning Man to experience this … I just need to leave my home. Also, what’s Joe Biden’s solution to this?
It’s really fun to watch Burners get so bent out of shape trying to defend themselves against any criticism or misunderstandings about their, uh, participation in the festival. Especially because they always bring up their experience without prompting … Which leads me to this:
Once when I was attending my cousin’s wedding, a White guest told me she had never been to India before, but she had been to Burning Man so she felt prepared. “India’s the real Burning Man,” she told me in all seriousness. No, I don’t know what that meant. And yes, I felt trapped.