Opinion

If Donald Trump Were an Art Critic…

Do you really want to know what Trump has to say about art?

(via @djtrump_artcritic)

Where do we hide from the Trumpification of the United States? I really have no idea, and now, two self-proclaimed “beautiful boys” have decided that imagining Trump as an art critic would be funny. And it kind of is. Sure, the Cheeto-in-chief is tweeting about nuclear war but the art comes first.

Whoever is writing this definitely gets part of the tone right, even if they are missing the typos, random punctuation, and signs of mental breakdown.

For Gustave Courbet’s “Origin of the World” (1866) — I’m sure you can see where this is going — Mr. Covfefe Critic offers this wisdom:

This is a great painting. Beautiful. I had to whip out my phone and snap a pic. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. Apparently, this is Courbet, I guess him and this guy Manet are the grandfathers of modernism. Without them you don’t get any of that cropping and flattening of form that leads to abstraction. I don’t know about you but I am surely attracted to this “form.” I’d grab her by the p…hold that thought, I gotta fire some guy named Mooch.

Sounds too coherent to be “modern” Presidential, right? And trompe-l’œil painters? Hacks! Fake Painting! :

The lying and dishonest Trompe-l’œil painters, with their fake shadows and phony perspective, won’t fool those who voted to Make the Art World Great Again!

Yup, you guessed it, that’s the IG critic’s slogan.

Here he is in a Yayoi Kusama Infinity room:

Terrifying! And he even has an opinion about Cindy Sherman’s own Instagram feed:

#CindySherman

A post shared by Donald J Trump – Art Critic (@djtrump_artcritic) on

And needless to say we know who his favorite artist is:

Anyone surprised?

Judging by the paintings they chose early on and the art world-y tone, I’m going to guess these are two white hipsters who are (or aspire to be) affiliated with a downtown Manhattan gallery.

Either way, we need to laugh.

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