Scientists are sounding the alarm this week, as a freak heat spike in Antarctica caused a major ice shelf collapse. But this news was soon overshadowed by an even more disturbing study alerting that less than 4% of things in the world remain to be NFT’d.
“When we saw this trend take off, we thought we had an ample global supply of NFTs,” said Dr. Amanda Bobanda, lead researcher for the Department of Wasted Energy. “We underestimated humanity’s voracious appetite for putting energy towards the wrong things.”
The study is devastating to a legion of artists who were reveling in the potential to make income from their art for the first time ever by simply bastardizing it for “cyberjerks,” but the real victims here are obviously the people who love to collect NFTs.
“First my pogs collection failed to effectively appreciate,” said Frank McFrank, a lifelong collector of idiotic fad objects. “Then the bottom fell out of Beanie Babies. We cannot let NFTs burn out for lack of fresh subject matter. My portfolio can’t take it.”
“Maybe they will discover a new species of bird, and then someone can turn that into an NFT,” he added hopefully. When it was pointed out that things like the Antarctica ice shelf collapse are harbingers of global climate apocalypse, and human life on Earth is at risk of burning out more than NFTs, McFrank grew wistful.
“Did anyone catch that ice shelf collapse?” he asked. “That would make a sick NFT.”
Luckily, the NFT market will no longer be limited to terrestrial subject matter. With Jeff Koons planning to create his first NFTs on an outer space mission, we can look forward to a whole new galaxy of subject matter, attainable by simply using an extra-insane amount of resources to break the atmosphere.
And if all else fails, we can just burn the contents of the Louvre, one by one. How sick would that be?
Al-Hadid’s new mosaic features the famed clock that hung at the entrance of the original station until the building was demolished in the 1960s.
The excavation project also yielded Old Kingdom-era amulets, stoneware, and daily-use tools.
Join the New-York Historical Society on February 10 for a virtual conversation about our changing relationship to the natural world with Julie Decker, John Grade, and LaMont Hamilton.
The steel spike clad in gold and silver commemorated the completion of the Transcontinental Railroad in 1869.
Thanks to a $3.3 million grant from the state’s Creative Corps, artists can now apply to bring the project to their neighborhood.
Your list of must-see, fun, insightful, and very Los Angeles art events this month, including Alicia Piller, Brad Phillips, Mulyana, the MexiCali Biennial, and more.
Her solo exhibition at the Los Angeles institution demonstrates how natural light can turn an overlooked, everyday setting into a sublime landscape.
Presented by Northwestern’s Block Museum and McCormick School of Engineering, this new exhibition seeks empathy at the boundaries of life. On view in Evanston, Illinois.
Nicola López and Paula Wilson’s exhibition Becoming Land considers anthropocentric relationships with New Mexico’s desert landscapes.
A festival dedicated to Davinci’s The King Show celebrates the LA artist’s trippy remixing of stock footage, Hollywood cinema, and theater.
Located in Des Moines, Iowa, this residency for emerging and established artists includes studio and living space, a $1,000 monthly stipend, and more.
20th Century Indian Art: Modern, Post-Independence, Contemporary surveys the many distinct aspects of art in South Asia.
Moving too fast on your commute, looking out of the corner of your eye one second too late, and you might miss HOTTEA’s yarn installations.